No love {.031}

Me: So, Jayden. You know Mother’s Day is coming up right?

Jayden: Yea.

Me: Did you decide what you’re going to get me?

Jayden: Yes.

Me: Well, what is it!?

Jayden: Milk.

Me: Milk?

Jayden: Yes, milk.

Me: Okay. Well, Father’s Day is coming up this summer! What are you going to get Daddy!?

Jayden: A beach.

Me: ::mouth wide open:: A beach?

Jayden: AND milk.

Me: Oh! Okay. Well, good for him then.

Apparently my mothering has only been good enough to warrant a glass of milk and nothing more. Epic fail.


Children remind us to treasure the smallest of gifts, even in the most difficult of times.

-Allen Klein

I love you {.027}

Goodbye weekend. You went by too fast, yet again. There wasn’t much to you this time, just relaxation, website building and listening to my noisy neighbors move out {yes!}. But, in the same low-key token you have taken on, you have been one of the most monumental weekends of my life. Don’t ask why weekend, I’m getting to that part.

You know that little being that grew inside of me for 8 months and some change? Yes, Jayden. Last night, after we read two books and he snuggled close to his Teddy in bed, he told me something. In fact, he told Quentin and I something pretty amazing {now I’m tearing up about it}.

While curled up in his bed, he looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I love you.” Then, he lifted his head up and said “Daddy, I love you!” It sounds pretty simple right? Wrong.

After Quentin or myself tuck Jayden in for bed, we always tell him that we love him. No matter what. The thing is, since he was born we’ve always said it first. To hear that sweet, innocent, little voice say “I love you” before we even got a chance to mutter it meant everything to me and then some.

I want our son to be loved, I want our son to be loving. Love is hard to teach sometimes because people disappoint you everyday – it’s life. But it’s nice to know that he’s learning how to be selfless and share. Last night he was selfless. He shared his love with us before knowing 100% for sure if he was going to get a response. He gave of himself, put his heart on his sleeve and got so much love in return. That is all life is really about & I pray he continues to do that. The lesson starts with the ones who are the closest to you. It’s weird to think of acts of love as “lessons”. But,  how else are you going to learn to love if no one told you they loved you?

Through the years we’ve taught him how to love & in that one moment he gave me a refresher of what we’ve been showing him. Giving of oneself in any capacity is love.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of

another person is essential to your own.

― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Grateful {.012}


This weekend was filled with Jayden and I catching up on house work & a mini trip to the library.

At the library he had a blast climbing on the little play set and doing puzzles. There was a mentally challenged child there that wanted to read books with him, but he was a little rough. I could tell that his caregiver couldn’t control him, so I kind of had to step in. It was really uncomfortable for me since he wasn’t mine and I wasn’t sure how the child was going to react. But, Motherly instinct to protect Jayden when he couldn’t protect himself {the child was at least 7 or 8}overrode all of those feelings. I’m just grateful that Jayden didn’t get hurt and I didn’t go crazy {not on the child, but on the caregiver}.

Everyone deserves to be made a priority and taken care of. That little boy was just swept under the rug and wasn’t being paid any attention. I’d act out too if no one paid me any attention.

Of course I’m grateful that Jayden did not have any birth defects and can function and communicate with me. But, more than anything, that incident made me realize how thankful I am that Quentin and I were prepared to love him with all of our hearts, give him the attention he needs and deserves & give our lives for him if it came down to it regardless of his condition.

It’s the simple things that make the difference. But, if you think about it, that kind of love is pretty complicated. You never really get it until you’re a parent.

Kids spell love T-I-M-E.

John Crudele

Me & My Teddy {.010}

The attachment to an inanimate object phase has begun for Jayden. We cannot do a single thing without “Teddy”. Teddy needs to brush his teeth, cuddle, and wash his face whenever Jayden does. It’s adorable to see him attached to something/someone besides Quentin and I. However, in the morning when I’m rushing around to get everything and everyone ready – it’s not so cute. Brushing Teddy’s teeth is not on my agenda at 6:00 in the morning. I try my best to keep my cool most of the time, but when I don’t want Teddy involved and the clock is not on myside I scream, “Teddy doesn’t have TEETH!”

And of course he looks at me with the puppy dog eyes and I give in {I am the softest parent on earth}. I am the softest parent on earth. Other times, I’m glad he’s attached to Teddy. It’s almost teaching him to cherish people more and be more responsible. Since Teddy is involved he wants to do more cuddling and cleaning with Teddy then by himself. I guess having a partner in crime always makes the tasks in life more fun.

Long live Teddy!

Children do not give up their innate imagination, curiosity, dreaminess easily.
You have to love them to get them to do that.
R.D. Laing

Who Farted {.009}

So after walking in the house and taking my shoes off. The interesting toddler convorsation begins.

Jayden: Ew! Stinky Feet!
Me: My feet stink?
Jayden: Yes!
Me: Well, do you like my nail polish?
Jayden {While running toward the dinning room table}: I’m hungry!
Me: So, I’ll take that as a ‘No?’
Jayden {He turns around and looks at me with the most serious face}: I don’t like it.

He hurt my feelings.

I’m sniffing around because I smell something unpleasant.

Me: Did you fart!?
Jayden: Noooo.
Me: Who farted then?
Jayden: Teddy! He no ask potty!
Me: Oh! Teddy didn’t ask for the potty huh?
Jayden: Noo.
Me: Okay. That’s okay.
Jayden: ::Gives Teddy a hug and kiss:: It’s okay Teddy.

That was a 50,000 on the ‘Aw, that was so cute!’ scale. And as far as I know, that scale only goes up to 10!
Lord knows I wish I caught that on camera! But, hopefully God will allow me to have that memory embedded in my brain for the rest of my life. One of the cutest full fledged conversations I’ve ever had with my little man.

A moment lasts all of a second, but the memory lives on forever.


Keep the Love Alive {.006}

 So, I went to grab some lunch from the fridge this morning & Quentin told me that instead he wanted to take me out to lunch. My first thought was “Oh how sweet!” I can’t remember the last time we sat down and had a meal together. I literally can’t. It’s a gift and a curse. With success always comes some sort of sacrifice. Thankfully, we love each other enough to make sure the other knows that they are loved – always

Lunch time roles around and we head off to a shopping center with some restaurants nearby. We can’t decide what to eat right away, but eventually settle for Panera Bread. We are about to walk in and the couple walking out with their baby says, “They have no power.”

I was like “WHAT!?” out loud, even though I meant for that to stay in my head {Yup! I looked crazy}. We continued down the sidewalk to the other food places. Subway – no power. Chipotle – no power. We just could not win! So, we drove out of the area and found a local spot to eat. 

We are looking for a new place to live so Quentin brought his laptop with him so he could show me the places he found. What he showed me was so inspiring and exciting! Places in the city, places in the county, newly remodeled some with old charm. A mix of everything! When he showed me each place all I could think about was: “Is there a park nearby? Is there enough room for a pet? Are there hardwood floors? Is the neighborhood safe enough to walk around?” – all Mommy questions.

It is so incredibly interesting to think about what your pre-baby mind cared about versus the mind of a Mommy. All questions and reactions stem from a place of protection, concern, and the desire to give them everything and more.

It was just then when I realized how blessed I am to have the privilege of raising one of God’s children. Most importantly, God gave me a wonderful partner in life who can share in this journey with me and love to pieces every step of the way.

The hunt will still continue, but it’s nice to get some quality time in with Quentin. With so many exciting things going on it’s easy to let your relationship fall to the waist-side. Initiative is key & making time for each other is one thing we’ve learned to do. Time is not going to just show up out of nowhere with our busy schedules. We’ve got to keep that love alive.

When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.


Enjoy your Easter weekend. 🙂