That’s Okay {.053}

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“That sounds like thunder Mommy! I’m scared. Cover your ears!”, my little man said as he cuddled next to me and put his head on my chest. It’s the day before the fourth of July and fireworks are going off all around our house. Today is also the day before Jayden leaves on a five day trip to New Jersey to spend time with his Grandparents and Great-Grandma. This is the first time Jayden will be away from Quentin and I for that long. It’s a hard pill to swallow in a lot of ways, but we have to let him go sometime.

I lifted Jayden’s face off of my chest and looked into his eyes – our foreheads touched. He giggled. I asked him if he wanted to sing a song. He said, “Ring around the Rosy!” We began to sing together and just like that he forgot about the “thunder”. We sang and we sang until he started to yawn. As soon as he did – I had a flashback. I remember getting a 3D ultrasound done and seeing Jayden yawn for the first time. It was the moment my whole life changed because I could finally put a face to the little guy I was already madly in love with. That flashback made me realize how much he has grown and the simple fact that he’s going to be just fine for five days. He’s going to have a blast and enjoy some time away from the normal routine. I’m going to miss my baby boy and I’m sure he’s going to miss me – and that’s okay.

“We only part to meet again.”
– John Gay

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Zoo {.052}

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Today Jayden took an impromptu trip to the zoo with his Daddy, Grandma Ellen and Step Brother, Christian. From what I heard he had a great time. That’s right – I didn’t go. I was hard at work all day and missed every moment. Being a working mom never gets easier as he gets older. He learns so many new things on a daily basis I just want to stare at him all day to see what he’ll say next. I do feel blessed that Quentin owns his own business so he can make his own hours and kind of be a stay-at-home Dad and a half.

Somehow I know in my heart things are supposed to be different. I just have to accept that I can’t have it all – right now. But, I’ll get better and most importantly he had a blast today and at least I have a couple of pictures.

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

– Steve Jobs

No? The Sequel. {.50}

If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll know that Jayden just started getting on the “No” bandwagon with the rest of the rebellious and curious kids in America. I’m going to be honest; it pisses me off to no other height when this little boy says ‘No’ to me. I just think it is the rudest thing he can say. He’s not explaining anything to me, he’s not trying to do something he is unsure of, he is flat out saying indirectly “LISTEN WOMAN, I’m not going to do what you say because I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT! SUCK ON THAT”. At least that’s how I interpret it in my head.

So, one day I just got fed up. I said to myself, “This is some bull crap. He is not going to just walk around this house thinking that he can say no to everything and do whatever he wants to do.”  I yelled at him. I yelled loud. It was probably uncalled for, but it just built up day, after day, after day until I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him, “YOU DON’T EVER SAY NO TO ME AGAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?” He shook his peanut head “Yes” and that was the last time I heard ‘No’ out of his little mouth.

The story does not end there. Instead of saying ‘No’ to everything now, if I ask him to do something he’ll say “Not yet, Mommy. Not yet.” If that isn’t clever, I don’t know what is. He’s not saying “No”, so I can’t really get mad, but at the same time, he’s still not doing what I’m asking him to do. This is where I don’t know if I should applaud him because this is something that I would of done or be hella pissed because he is indirectly doing the same thing that he was doing before – without actually doing it. Gotta love toddlers.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” 
 Oscar Wilde

Salads and Flowers {.45}


Today is the first day in a long time since the nice weather has arrived that I have actually had the energy and time to go outside with my little munchkin. It was so much fun! We didn’t do much but play in the grass, but that was the best play-in-the-grass fun I’ve ever had. Jayden made me a “salad” {out of grass and a stick}, I tried to teach him how to ride his bike, he picked flowers for me, we watched the cars ride by and ran back and forth in the grass like maniacs. Making lists, giving myself a bedtime, and sticking to a schedule has really helped me out so far when it comes to having time to just enjoy life. I just pray that I can keep it up because spending all of this extra time with my little munchkin is priceless.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”

Annie Dillard

Fuzzy Weekend {.039}

Dear weekend,

You were the same this time as you always are, eventful and fast paced. Most events took place at home this time. I was struggling with not having the desire to do homework during the week, so I did it all this weekend. It actually felt good to focus on one thing at a time without worrying about going to bed to get up for work in the morning. I finished  so much quicker that I would normally. I usually take five days to complete homework this time I only took 6-7 hours between two days. Humpf. New strategy to consider I guess. I did some much needed cleaning again which made me feel all fuzzy inside, but most importantly I got to spend some much needed quality time with my little munchkin face. My mommy stopped by to have breakfast with us too. She was in Maryland for a Jazz festival and couldn’t go back to New Jersey without seeing us of course. The man was working all weekend. So proud of the moves he is making in the fitness industry already. Overall it was a good weekend. I can’t complain.

I told you that I was going to catch you up with what’s been going on lately, but for now I’ll just leave you with some pictures to enjoy on this beautiful Monday morning. They are from an evening two weeks before at the park while watching Quentin film a video for work. I’ve got to admit, they are some of my favorites I’ve ever taken of Jayden. No poses, no planning, just the organic bliss of a kid, being a kid.

Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundredth of a second.” 

Marc Riboud

Possessive {.037}

I knew that most kids went through the stage of being “possesive”, but of course {yet again} I didn’t think  that my little angel would catch on to the toddler trend.

I was wrong.

Everything is someone’s, not just his {which I’m happy about, because I’d have to body slam him for being selfish}. This weekend that passed was a pretty chill one, I did a massive amount of laundry, cleaned like I was a maid, and spent some much needed quality time with my boys.

One evening last weekend Quentin and I were laying on the bed and Jayden wanted to hop on and said “get cozy?!”, with the most excited look on his face.

Of course we agreed and we started pulling the blankets on all of us and getting pillows. As I went to grab a pillow closer to me Jayden said “No, Jayden’s pillow”.  Just out of curiosity I pointed to the pillow Quentin’s head was under ask whose pillow it was. “That’s Daddy’s pillow.”, he said.

For lack of better words that was “Get your own damn pillow, Mommy!” in toddler language. I took the hint and got my own pillow.

I assumed the pillow that I put in the bed wasn’t going to be mine according my three-year-old so I thought I’d ask just to see what he’d say.

“That’s Mommy’s pillow!”, he told me. I smiled.

I guess my little one isn’t as possessive as I thought he was. He knows what’s his and he knows what’s not. I can’t ask for much more than that.

While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.

Unknown

Your Kid is NOT cute {.036}

The other day some man waltzed into a room with his toddler son and said:

“This is my son! Cute, isn’t he?”

(crickets)

That is how the room sounded.

You know how some people would normally say “Yes! Oh my goodness, he’s adorable!?”

Not this time! Everyone in the room was just looking at each other like “Nooo, not really!”

Here is why: You don’t tell me that you think your son is cute. He’s your son! You are supposed to think that or else you go into the “Bad Parent Hall of Shame” for the rest of your life. No one wants that. I, as a non-bias human being make that decision for you.

Problem is, no one really wanted to say that his kid was below average in the looks department. Correction. Everyone wanted to say it, but no one had the balls to say it, including me. I like to avoid hurting peoples feelings as much as I possibly can, you know?

I am shallow enough to know for a fact that my son looked like an alien from the Men In Black movie when he was born. I am also shallow enough to know that he is growing into a handsome young man, but he hasn’t reached his girl-magnet potential yet. With all of that said, I let other people tell me how adorable my son his so I can bask in the glory of saying to myself: “I know, right!?”

Lesson learned here: Don’t come out of the gate making outrageous claims about your kid. You will get let down.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Jim Henson